Tuesday, December 23, 2014


It's not that i don't wanna trust.

I'm just tired. 

What if it goes wrong?
What if it doesn't work the way we wanted?
What if we fight all the time?
What if we can't understand each other?

I could give hundreds of my 'what if'.
I'm afraid of what the future will become.
Are we still together?
Are we gonna be what we are back then?

I'm afraid we'll hate each other,
Blame each other for everything.


What if she wants you back?
What if he wants me back?

Will we still stay faithful to each other?

What if you got bored?
What if you hate what i am?

The way i always cling on you,
My fussiness,
How i get jealous over the smallest things,
How i always want you to be there for me,
How i miss you the second we say goodbye,
How imperfect i am,
How i always find something to compare myself to other girls,
How i always put myself down hoping you'll help me up.

What if one day you'll get tired of me?
Of my attitude.

What if you leave.
Just like them.

Somedays i'll be happy as f,
Somedays i'll cry my eyes out,
Somedays i'll ignore you.

Will you still stay?
Can you put up with that?

Or are you gonna be just like the others?
Giving me promises,
And then when it doesn't go the way they wanted,
When i don't live up to their expectations,

"You're boring"
"You're the main cause of all this stress i have"
"I'm tired of you"
"I don't even know what to say"
"You're the problem"
But somehow i feel like it's not my fault, because i told them im no good and all.
And still,
"I don't mind that"
"It's okay"
"I can handle that"
"I can put up with that"
"That's normal"
"I don't care"

"I promise"

Promise my ass.

It's not that i don't wanna be with someone, 
It's just that,

I'm afraid.

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