Tired

Before this i am such a coward. I'm always worried about how do people react if i did something wrong, what if they talk shitty things about me? , what if my friends leave? what if i'm all by myself? what if they dislike me? what if they replace me with someone better?

What if.

Back then my life is basically filled with this Q. what if this happen, what if that happen? what if. i just want everyone to like me, to stay. i was so scared of what would happen. so scared of being alone. and so, i treat people nicely, i pretend most of the time, i put my feelings aside, i put people's feeling 1st. i want to please everyone. i put myself last. 

And then i realized, those things i've been doing is wrong. i should've put myself first. because even if you try to please people, put them first, treat them nicely, some people WILL always have shitty things the gotta say about you, and some people would've just use you for their own good, some people don't f care about your feelings. No matter how hard you try, this is just how things go in the end.

You can't please everyone. 

so put yourself first. if people wanna talk, let them talk until their lips are torn apart because they f talk too much. let them talk. at least you know yourself better than anyone else. and it is almost impossible to stop people from talking esp about the bad side of you.